Miks Everitt
Calder Freeway Macedon, New Years Day 2012.

It was a New Year. With my headphones on, I rested my head up against the backseat window, looking out, the late afternoon sun beaming in. Overlooking the Macedon Ranges, I pressed play on my iPhone and I remember thinking, this music – this is for me. My brother was sitting quietly next to me, looking out the window on the other side. Mum was asleep in the front, and Dad was steering our way home.

Well I won’t back down
I gotta run as fast as I can
And I’m walkin’ all over you and what you do
I don’t think it’s true but I got it in my mind
I don’t know where I stand
I just wanna let you know that I love you so
Let me go...

The year prior had been difficult. After seven and a half years of tertiary study and putting everything else in my life on the backburner, it was my first year of full time work. It was going to be a year full of new ideas, new goals, new takes on life. I had secured a full- time role working in an area I thought I would be in for the foreseeable future.

Instead though, everything caught up with me. 2011 ended up being a year where I broke and fell. I had no idea where I stood.

And I’m walkin on not scared of what you are
Dreamin of so many things that I’ve seen be done
I just wanna run while I can
I wanna push you outta my way
I just wanna lay here with you
All the things you make me feel
So let me know…

As kids we would do that late afternoon drive a couple of times a year, past the Macedon Ranges, returning back to Melbourne after a stay in Bendigo or Castlemaine with extended family. With Mum and Dad in the front, my brother and I would be in the back with a little tape player between us sitting on the red vinyl seat of Dad’s Kingswood. Instead of some jangly Australian music, it would be Boyz II Men and my brother and I would pick harmonies and sing along.

The last time I saw the Macedon Ranges was that New Years Day, 2012. Still in the back seat, the late afternoon sun still beaming in, my brother next to me and Mum and Dad in the front. Twerps were a band I had fallen in love with during the year prior. As an opening track, Dreamin’ afforded me the opportunity to reflect. With the year that broke me behind me, Dreamin’ summed it all up and told me all I needed to hear.

2012 was instead the year of new ideas, new goals and new takes on life. It was the year of fixing myself. By the year’s end I had a much greater appreciation of myself and where I had been and how the year prior had made me.

So, with my headphones in, I rested my head up against the backseat window, looking out, the afternoon sun beaming in. Dreamin’ was my soundtrack, my reflection. My brother was sitting quietly next to me, looking out the window on the other side. Mum was asleep in the front, and Dad was steering our way home. I had let go and was starting anew.

© Miks Everitt.

Miks is the curator of maamf, an Australian music blog. He is currently a PhD candidate at Western Sydney University. His PhD project is looking at the ways in which vulnerable young people engage in technology aided music-making practices that navigate personal vulnerability and impact upon resilience