Race Street, Bendigo, 1998

My hands tremble as I fight to slide my key into the lock.

Finally, inside, I pick up the phone to call Mum and Dad. No answer.

It’s just me. My one bedroom unit. The ENT’s words circling.

The buzzing inside my head, leading to his door, a swarming wasp nest I can’t escape.

“Tinnitus.”

“Otosclerosis.”

“Going Deaf.”

I’m distressed. Confused. Angry.

Alone, in the Bendigo ENT’s medical rooms, I resist.

This can’t be right. I’m a journalist.

I’m working as a public relations consultant for God’s sake!

Communication is my world.

The ENT throws a scrap of empathy.

“You know the guy with the biggest PR job in the country has otosclerosis?”

I eye him. Bewildered.

“John Howard,” he offers.

“Prime Minister, John Howard.”

I’m not ready to process. I’m ready to vent.

I reach for the CD rack.

Alanis Morissette? No – wait, Garbage!

Either would have done. There’s a reason Alanis Morissette and Garbage toured together in 1999. They’re both full of rage.

I turn Push It up full boar on my little Sanyo stereo and flop into the pink and white pinstripe canvas deck chair I picked up during a trip to the Elmore Field Days with my former fiancé.

This is the noise that keeps me awake

My head explodes and my body aches

I scream the lyrics. Full throat.

Push It

Toward my pot-plant garden.

Push It

Toward my lovely next door neighbour who told me I’d been playing music too loud (OBVIOUSLY! Since I’m apparently going deaf).

Push It

Toward my Mediterranean style courtyard wall; beyond a view reaching out over Flora Hill.

Push It

Lucky, my beautiful black and white alley cat, adopted with one dodgy eye after being hit by a car, not a collar or microchip in sight, jumps up and over the wall.

I call.

He comes.

Together.

We howl.

 

Footnote:

In December 2017 my right ear hearing aid was no longer required after receiving successful stapedectomy surgery.

In February 2022 I underwent stapedectomy surgery on my left ear. It’s early days. Recovering well.

 

Stereo Story #660

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Kate Foulds is a Central Victorian short fiction/memoir writer who grew up on the family farm in Musk. She completed a post-graduate journalism cadetship at Kyneton’s Midland Express and cultivated her craft at The Bendigo Advertiser. ‘Grandma’s gift’ was published in Mother – Memories, Moments & Stories, as part of the 2020 Bendigo Writers Festival Programme. ‘Acorn’ was shortlisted in the inaugural Minds Shine Bright writing competition and was published in the 2022 Confidence anthology. Kate’s debut children’s book, 'Grumps and the green fishing rod', will be published later this year.